Filling The Kid Void

I don't know about you, but when my daughter backs out of the drive way strapped into to the back seat of my Ex's van I get a little anxiety. Not because I am afraid something is gonna happen to her because as a parent I am always thinking that as any parent does. No, I am talking about that all too familiar fear of "what am I gonna do now?" I know I'm not the only one, although I have much practice now and have discerned what activities get me through the visitation weekend the best. Right now at this point in time it just so happens to be my book, which the inspiration for it couldn't have come at a better time. I've been filling my childless weekends with writing and editing and writing some more. During the week I try to write while my daughter is at school, and some days are better than others, but I find that school days are way more distracting especially when I get an idea and can't get to my computer or even a notepad in time to capture it. Unfortunately for my Blog and social media activities, I tend to be more infrequent with them when I am working on my book. So know now when I am not on twitter for a day  or even half a day, nothing has happened to me, and I am still very much alive, just working on what makes me happy. That is one example of what I am usually doing. Some of the others include getting caught up on the laundry or the house cleaning, and yes sometimes just sleep and nothing more. Whoever said that being a stay at  home mom was easy was high on something. I am a single mom with a very hyperactive and extroverted daughter, who in less than half a day can take hours of organizing and toy sorting  etc, etc, and make it  look like not only what it was before but worse. This makes for more house cleaning than I ever would have imagined than when I was single and kid free.  And even though it can be inconvenient and tiring, the rewards far outweigh anything else. Being a parent is work in many different ways, and even if given the chance to change it all I wouldn't because the hole left in my life and in my heart would devastate me. Right now at this time in my life I am not dating so unfortunately I cannot add that to the list of things I do to get through when my daughter is not here. Not because I don't want to, but because the right guy just hasn't come along. So I rely on my girlfriends, and I spend a lot of time with my parents especially because they won't always be around being that they are getting older and are now retired. I am not lonely completely, as my dog Nico (the best dog in the world) will reassure me. Now I look at the time and tad-da its that time again when my daughter bursts in the house and gives me one of the best hugs I ever had and now I can let go of that breath I've been holding the whole time she was gone. Now I am complete again. :)